As the new year begins, there's something important I want to share with you. And it's something I'm dedicating the next decade to - because it's something I know is essential for all meaning driven healers, helpers, guides, & coaches who know they came here on earth with a calling that they ache to do.
But it’s something nobody tells you is essential. I’m saying that to you now.
If you want to do what you came here to do, your soul’s calling, you’ve got to SEE YOURSELF and claim ownership of your brilliant and dazzling gifts.
If you don’t, you won’t get started, you’ll go off track, you’ll lose your motivation, you’ll create a business you hate, you won’t have the perseverance you need to continue, you’ll stay in your soul-sucking job, you’ll keep hiding your voice and your unique perspective, you’ll try to copy other coaches and fail, you won’t share anything you create, you’ll never make a living from your helping and healing work and the yearning and the ache will continue in your life because you aren’t following the callings of your soul – because you don’t truly believe in your intrinsic worthiness.
Nobody teaches you to see yourself, to claim your brilliant gifts.
In fact, in our society you are taught to hide your gifts and to fit in. You don’t learn this in school – you have to fit in, so you don’t even know if you have any unique gifts. You don’t learn this at work – that’s where so many people have a crisis of soul wondering if that’s all there is. And you don’t learn this in Life Coach Training. You learn how to coach other people, not what you’re gifted at – which might not even be coaching!
You need to SEE YOURSELF.
If you are meaning driven and trying to create soul-satisfying work – then the only way to truly know what that is, is by deeply seeing your own life story. You have to observe your life like a detective would, seeking clues, seeing how your story fits together. You have to be able to observe your outsides rather than staying on your insides and this is hard to do.
Because you have blind spots.
Places you cannot see. For example, when I did graduate training and a practicum in group counselling my teacher said to me right at the beginning of the course, “Where did you come from? This work is so natural to you, it’s like you’ve been doing it your whole life.”
I was shocked. She’s the first person who’d ever said I was gifted at group work – and I didn’t know it. I was 35 years old and I had no idea about this. When she saw me and let me know that she saw me, I was able to claim that gift with my heart. And it was only when I’d claimed that gift that I could share it with others.
You need to get seen, to see yourself. And you need to see yourself to claim your gifts.
If you’ve spent a lifetime fitting in, as most empaths do, and meeting other peoples’ expectations, then you don’t have a clue about what makes you stand out or what your gifts are. You also can’t see the purpose thread that runs through your life unless you get seen.
I remember doing an exercise about life themes with a group of coaches and one coach burst into tears. She saw that hidden in plain sight was the deep passion she had for healing and helping people that felt broken because of family trauma, because that had been the story of her life.
That’s where she found the focus of her life’s work – not by evaluating lucrative niches. And she had to be brave enough to look unflinchingly at her past without trying to fix it. Ironically discovering how your purpose connected to your pain IS healing in itself!
There’s a theme to your problems. There’s gold hidden behind your life themes and it’s hidden in plain sight. And you can’t see that gold when you’re experiencing the problem. The difficulties and life volcanoes that erupt, the losses and pains and struggles, all lead you to your unique life purpose – if you are willing to dive deeply, explore and truly look at your life. This is not fast and easy. It’s work that digs up all your unhealed places.
And, you have a unique perspective, personality and values that other people can see more easily than you can.
In one of my groups I asked all the participants what they thought was unique about them. One of my participants said that she had a really caring spirit and always made sure that people had what they needed.
She was the person that refilled people’s drinks, gave them Kleenex before they asked, was always organizing activities and timing to make sure peoples’ needs were met. And it’s true, that was part of her genius, but that’s not what the other members of the group saw. They saw her wit, and her sense of humour, the way she could play with words and how dynamic and charismatic she was. She couldn’t see that until it was reflected back to her.
And then there are the talents and gifts that you stashed away and hid because you were criticized as a child.
Maybe you talked too much, or saw dead people, or knew when people were telling a lie, and got called out for saying so. I’ve have had more clients than I can count, who ignored their intuitive knowing because they were raised in family systems that feared their abilities. These are gifts you need to reclaim!
….You have talents and gifts that you think are ordinary because either everyone did that in your family or you didn’t realize that everyone didn’t do that.
….You have specific parts of you that you’ve kept hidden that you were criticized about.
….You have a unique life tapestry that contains important patterns and clues about who you are at core, who your life was meant to serve, and what activities and tasks make you come alive.
We don’t learn about any of this at school. We are told to fit in, follow the rules, not make waves.
We don’t learn this in life coach training. (That’s why I created my own life coach training).
We don’t learn this in school. We’re encouraged to fit in and be the same and develop the competencies that it takes to excel in our jobs, not the talents that we were born with.
But we ache to be truly seen.
We need to be seen so we can see ourselves.
And it’s only when we see ourselves that we can claim our dazzling beauty and finally be who we were meant to be.
If you’re an empath, and particularly if you know that you were born to be a healer, helper, teacher or guide, the only way that you are going to find your soul’s path, your life’s work, your meaning driven calling is to BE SEEN…..over and over and over and over again.
Because you’ll forget.
In my experience, discovering your genius feels like coming home to who you really are, and then just like after you wake up from a dream, you forget.
You need people who see you to tell you, over and over again to remember.
It’s really strange and freaky. Those of us who are here to help, heal and guide need to be reminded of who we truly are, how gifted we truly are, why we need to be doing this work, over and over and over again – because it’s hard to be different and not do what everyone else is doing.
Living your life by following your soul is NOT what everyone else is doing so it’s an uphill battle.
Everything, absolutely everything that we are doing at the Soul’s Calling Academy in 2020 is to help you see your dazzling beauty and claim ownership of your amazing gifts.
I want you to know that we are here with our whole hearts, both me and Nicole sharing this mission. Facilitating this process of being seen, and claiming your gifts through the journey of life transition is my body of work and we’re sharing it with you in the Soul's Calling Academy.
Let this be the year that you do the deep work that you need to get going on what you’re here to do.
Let this be the year that you dare to decide to get seen, to see yourself, to really be yourself and to do your thing.
Our live, intimate, intensive retreats are the best way to finally see yourself and be seen. Our next retreat takes place in February 2020 at the beautiful winter wonderland that is the Nordik Spa Nature in Gatineau, Quebec. Learn more HERE.
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