Feeling Lost And Angry After the U.S. Election?

As you know, for months I obsessively followed the news about the US election. I was inspired at the hope and possibility of a brown woman – who for me, embodied a new kind of empathic leadership, becoming the leader of the free world. You can read my last post on this HERE.

I took a month off, and went to Crete, and when I returned, 4 days before the election, everything had changed.

I couldn’t find hope.

And then on election day, I watched about 30-minutes of the election returns and felt the same thing – even before the results were in.

The hope was gone.

I was so, so angry. A cold, deep, resolute anger.

And SO, not surprised.

This feeling felt familiar - but I couldn't figure out what it meant.

I kept seeing all this grief and sadness from my Facebook friends and I didn’t feel that way.

I felt cold and angry.

One of the ways that I process my emotions is by trying to remember a time in the past when I felt that. When I do - invariably I learn what I'm feeling and why and it helps me to make sense of the experience. So, that's what I did.

When I looked back, I remembered having that cold, deep, resolute, anger before. It was when I was in my early thirties, working for the government in Ottawa. I’d just been denied a job interview, for a new position, to facilitate cultural change. I was more than qualified to do this. This had been my last gasp at trying to offer my gifts and talents, doing something that felt meaningful, inside the organization. 

But the door was closed for me.

The organization would not allow ME to be a change agent - the perfect fit for my laser intuition, my perspective, and my background and training. 

I was done.

And I felt the same cold, deep, resolute anger that bubbled up when the U.S. election results came in.

Back then, that emotion was telling me that I needed to find my own path - where I could be received as who I was, where I didn't have to put on a mask and pretend to be something different, where I could affect change in my own authentic way. My path was not to remain within organizations. 

And think that's the message of this election in the U.S.

I'm sharing this because from what I've seen, those of you who aren't Black women, haven't developed the capacity to both hold pain and anger and not let it suppress your joy, or your efforts to bring more love into the world.

Black women who live in the countries of the colonizers have a great deal of experience and practice dealing with disappointment.

We're used to continuing on, not falling into despair and sadness, but acknowledging that nothing is wrong with us - that the system is rigged.

You don't need to reduce your pain by shifting your mindset.

You need to build the ability to hold the pain of this truth, and move forward anyway.

Because that's what truly makes you a warrior.

And we need empathic badasses.

So, thirty years ago, I became self-employed. I found my own path. I claimed my gifts and my unique purpose and I found ways to express myself unapologetically. 

That's been my way of adding love to the world.

It's what you can do too.

It's time to stop hiding from what the US has shown herself to be.

It's time to acknowledge that the values of truth, authenticity, and a deep respect for the dignity of all human beings are not the values of the US government.

But if they're your values, all is not lost.

America is not who we hoped she was, a beacon of truth for the world.

And that means that each and every one of you who is disappointed and sad and distressed and scared about the results of this election – must find your own path and walk it.

What does that mean?

  🌀 Stop beating your head against a wall trying to change a broken system. Create a new one.

  🌀 (Re)Discover who you are now.

  🌀 Stop following the rules - that tell you who you "should" be.

  🌀 Outline your own life rules and values, and follow them.

  🌀 Discover what brings you joy and makes you come alive.

  🌀 Find a way to express your gifts with those who can receive them 

This famous quote by Howard Thurman is even more true today:

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”

Here's what's really going on according to moi - we are no longer trying to change a system that is erupting, we are trying to build a new one. And it’s worldwide, not just in the U.S. And I don’t know what that it's going to look like.

All I know is that it’s built on love, not hate.

So, each of us must find our own joy, and do what makes us come alive – and that’s how we’ll add love to the world. Even if that means picking olives in Greece or crocheting cute baby animals.

Because love is contagious, so it’ll multiply exponentially.

The election results are your permission slip to find your own path – outside of the system.

It’s up to you, as an individual, to find a way to express your truth in your corner of the world, so that you make the difference that you want to see.

WE are the leaders we’ve been waiting for.

We’re the empathic, badassses that the world really needs.

Don’t give up on your authenticity, truth, and respect, for the dignity of each human being.

Don’t give up on you.

Shine your light in your tiny corner of the world. And we’ll find each other.

And that will be the ground up revolution that the world is calling for us to begin.

With big, big love,

 ❤️

Bev