Are You An Unfulfilled Life Coach?

Did you train as a life coach thinking you had found your purpose, but you simply don’t feel inspired or fulfilled?

You might be a new coach, just out of training.... but feel stuck right at the starting line? Or maybe you've been coaching for a while, but you feel like your business is a series of stops and starts, and fits and bursts. And it's not fun!

Today I want to talk to you about the REAL reasons you keep getting stuck as a life coach. The real reasons you’re not feeling the inspiration, meaning and fulfillment you’d been hoping for.

And hint... they have NOTHING to do with business & marketing...

So here's the scenario - you found life coaching. You signed up for training, and you LOVED every minute of it. You realized you are a born coach and, now that training's over, you’re excited and motivated to start your coaching practice and get your important work out into the world.

And then BAM. You’re stuck.

Maybe you’ve been stuck for a day, a week, a month… or like way too many amazingly talented coaches, forever.  

So What Does Stuck Feel Like?

Your particular version of stuck could come up in many ways. For example:

• You’re stuck NOT moving forward even when you really, really want to (stuck on the couch);
• You DO, DO, DO – keep super busy doing everything for everyone (not your business) and you are so exhausted – everything else comes first;
• You DO, DO, DO in your business – plunk yourself down at your desk – try to DO for 8 hours a day (at least) but feel like you’re getting nowhere and are exhausted
• You question yourself constantly – take lots of courses, learn, never finish the courses or apply them, keep buying the courses waiting for the magic bullet but can’t find it;
• You give up – super talented coaches that don’t coach or heal or guide or lead;
• You DO, but it doesn’t feel right ;
• You tell yourself that this is your THING, that you should feel happy, excited, FULFILLED…. But you don’t….
• And so on, and so on…… 

REASONS WHY YOU ARE STUCK:

What often happens is that you think you’re feeling unfulfilled, you think you’re feeling stuck because you need to learn more business & marketing stuff, or you need to DO more business & marketing stuff, or you need to get more organized or learn better time management, or because you just need to HUSTLE & SUCK IT UP already buttercup.

And then when none of this works, you continue to stay stuck because you believe you’re a failure, or can’t do this, or no one wants what you have to offer or you weren’t meant to be a coach.

But what if NONE of these are the reasons you’re stuck at all??? And my hunch is that none of them are. There are actually four completely different reasons why many life coaches get stuck. And these reasons have NOTHING to do with business and marketing.

Here they are:   

Reason #1: You Might Be An Empath

The most basic definition of empath is someone who feels other people’s emotions. When you’re an empath, you can often feel someone else’s truth even if that person doesn’t know their own truth – and even feel other people’s emotions more than your own.

And here’s the thing – most empaths assume that EVERYONE does this. But that’s not true.

If you are an empath, you:

• Make sense of the world primarily through your gut feelings;
• Know what other people are feeling without being told;
• Know when others are telling the truth and when they are lying;
• Find that others frequently turn to you for help;
• Mirror the cadence and emotion of the person you are talking to;
• Sometimes feel like you are a chameleon;
• Often feel alone because you can’t explain how you know things;
• Can immediately spot inauthenticity or phoniness;
• Can get drained by the emotions of others;
• Find that people are drawn to you;
• Are drawn magnetically to other empaths without knowing why.

So how does this play out when you’re starting a coaching business?

Because you’re so highly attuned to OTHER PEOPLE’S energy & emotions, many empaths can easily lose sight of themselves. So when you try to start your coaching business, it’s difficult to see YOUR truth, YOUR gifts and genius, and what YOU really want to do & focus your business around. So instead:

• You do everything everyone else is doing (chameleon) – because it’s a habit;
• You try to mirror and follow others, but it never feels right
• You doubt that anything you do is unique – it’s already been done
• You think you have to fit in and do what everyone else is doing
• You can’t come up with something that feels uniquely yours. 

Reason #2: You’re A People Pleaser:

For some coaches, this is very related to being an empath, and is a pattern you’ve had for most of your life (a pattern you may not even know you have), but it can also be part of the baggage and social programming you’ve adopted as a woman.

When you’re a people pleaser, you tend to put other people’s needs before your own. And because you’re so used to placing your needs last, it’s really, really hard to put your coaching business first (or second, or third….). And then your business can become more of a “hobby” in your mind, instead of your true soul’s work.

And when you position your coaching business as a hobby, you:

• Only get to your work after your kids/family/partner are taken care of – which may often be… never!
• Don’t set up a “real” working space in your home, either because you don’t want to “selfishly” take space away from others, or simply because it doesn’t cross your mind
• Don’t set boundaries around time for your work, and instead schedule it around everyone else’s stuff.

So while you may “feel” like you’re starting a coaching business, you’re really not. You tell yourself you’re definitely going to get to it when….  but then the when never comes…

Reason #3: You’re So Used to Hiding & Trying to Fit In:

Many born coaches have been told (either blatantly or subconsciously) all their lives that it isn’t safe to be seen. That you’d be attacked or admonished for standing out. And you likely saw this actually happen to girls and women around you who did stand out.

Over time, “being safe” began to equal “not being seen”. So you started hiding & fitting in. Cloaking yourself so you wouldn’t be noticed. Being quiet when you had something to say. Staying still when you so ached to move, and dance, and play.

And this means you stop sharing who you really are with the people around you. So the people around you don’t know the real you. They don’t know that you’re an empath. They don’t know that you can see people’s truth. They don’t know that your spiritual philosophy is different than theirs.

So when it comes to starting a coaching business around your true soul’s calling, fear comes up. Because you’ll have to share with people who you really are. Because you’ll have to do stuff that feels like the OPPOSITE of hiding. Because finally, people will really SEE you. And it’s REALLY uncomfortable to be the light.

And that’s if you can even figure out what your true soul’s calling even is….  When you’ve been hiding who you really are for so long, it’s easy to forget what makes you so unique and amazing. It’s easy to forget what makes you stand out. And if you don’t rediscover YOU, then you might fall into the trap of creating the wrong coaching business, one that’s safer and more aligned with what other people tell you to start. 

Reason #4: You Think Life Coaching is Your PURPOSE – But it’s Actually a SKILL

After coach training, you might think that you’ve already done the work to know yourself and what you want, but what you’ve actually done is learned how to coach other people – learned a skill - and worked through some of your own limitations and blockages along the way. And this is exactly what you should learn in coach training!

But you don’t necessarily leave coach training knowing what makes you light up, what makes you come alive, what makes you tick, and what is most meaningful to you. You don’t come away knowing your purpose. Simply because that’s NOT what you do in life coach training.

Why? Because you still haven’t done the deep work to dig out your own unique genius – your specific purpose. You don’t know what you were made for, the problem that YOU came here to help people fix and HOW. Coach training doesn’t tell you what that is. Life coaching is a skill, not necessarily your purpose.

And this means that you need to get aligned with your own soul’s purpose and define a niche that makes you come alive, clarifies what you do, how you do it and who you do it for – a focus for your business that is is DEEPLY connected to your own true (not someone else’s)

WHEN YOU DEFINE YOUR SOUL’S NICHE – THE ONE THAT TRULY FITS WHO YOU DEEPLY ARE, this is what happens:

1. You get an inner compass that tells you what to do and how to do it;
2. You get energized rather than depleted;
3. Your work feels original and unique and you don’t worry about competition;
4. You are motivated to stop hiding and to overcome the multi-generational fears that you’ve been holding on to;
5. People are attracted to you – particularly those right clients – you start becoming an inspiration and a leader;
6. You unlock abilities that you didn’t know you had (creativity, focus, perseverance, etc.) ;
7. You feel a deep sense of peace – you might get afraid but it doesn’t hold you back. You might have ups and downs but you know that you’ll get through stuff, you might sense delays or know it’s not time – but you know that when it’s time you will – you know that you aren’t procrastinating. You are connected to your intuitive knowing.
8. You are resolving an inner ache – it’s something that you have always needed to learn that you are now getting to share with others and it feels peaceful and invigorating at the same time! It’s incredibly motivating….

When you create a business around your soul’s niche, you get to do what you love, with the people you love, in the place you love, doing what you love to do.

Imagine that?

So What Does This Mean? How Do You Get UNSTUCK?

So when you consider that the four main reasons most life coaches get stuck has NOTHING to do with business & marketing, what is your best next step after coach training?

Your best next step is to do the deep work to really see yourself, see your gifts & genius, and excavate all that programming, people pleasing, hiding, and fear that is deep rooted and holding you back. That’s when you can finally see yourself, finally claim your purpose, finally know your true soul’s niche – and finally turn your soul’s niche into the personally meaningful work you’ve been craving as a coach.

And this is exactly what we will do, together in Unlock Your Soul’s Calling! 

This is our intensive and highly supportive course & community for coaches & empathic women who need to know their purpose and do work that feels deeply meaningful – or they suffer.

We begin May 18 – Learn more and sign up RIGHT HERE.