How Do You Stop Hiding When You've Done That All Your Life?

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Suppose that in order to be a life coach, to do what you came here to do, you have to show up – be seen – be visible – get clients?

How do you do that when you’ve been hiding all your life?  You don’t just need a simple marketing campaign.  You actually need to rewire your brain.

Let me explain.

Suppose your family told you that your clairvoyant abilities were abnormal and scary and you were punished when you shared that ability?

Suppose your mother or a sibling was threatened by your brilliance and made your life hell when others paid more attention to you than to them?

Suppose your family valued sports, planning and efficiency and you were an uncoordinated mush of feeling and creativity?

Suppose you watched others who were more vocal than you, and looked like you, being told to “Go back to your country”?

My guess is that you hid for a reason – to survive. 

Nothing is wrong with you if you’ve been hiding.  You learned to hide.  You downplayed your innate gifts and your uniqueness, NOT because something was wrong with you but because you needed love, acceptance and belonging.  We all need that.

As a well-seasoned hider, I can tell you that when you are pretending to be who you’re not, you start to forget who you really are.

I stayed in the background for much of my life. I told myself that this was okay, that I didn’t need to be on center stage.  It kept me safe.  I told myself that it was better not to crave attention and that I was “a better person” because of it.  But when I started an on-line business – I couldn’t get any momentum because I was still hiding.

And I had to rewire my brain and stop believing that it was noble to hide. 

In fact, it’s noble to shine.

Hiding is

  •    not sharing with people who you really are or what you do;
  •    not talking or writing about what is really meaningful to you;
  •    not telling people who might need what you offer, about your programs;
  •    not sharing your opinion about things that might be controversial or others don’t agree with.

As women we’ve been taught to be the silent majority – to NOT express ourselves.  It’s like we think that we’ll get a prize for doing that.  If you’re part of a marginalized group like I am, hiding is how you survive.  You don’t quite blend in, but at least you don’t call attention to yourself.

When you hide, you start believing that claiming your uniqueness or your gifts is egotistical.

When you hide you get tainted by the sting of false humility – which is just as ego-based as narcissism.

False humility isn’t noble; it’s just a lie.

When you hide and you can’t create your life’s work.

Because you aren’t showing up, so nobody can see you – or hire you.

We were born to shine – to show up.  When you’re hiding, you are locking gifts you were given to share, inside a vault.

You are withholding.

If you need permission to stop hiding, I’m giving it to you right now.

Look around you.

Look at the chaos in the world.

You. Have. Permission. To. Stop. Hiding.

The world needs your message of love and goodness.  The world needs YOU now.

I stopped hiding and created my signature Soul's Calling® Retreat. 

Because I loved it so much.

Because I couldn’t keep it to myself.

Because I was SO certain how much healers, helpers, coaches and purpose inspired guides needed it.

We finished a retreat last week and it was THE most fun thing that I’ve ever done!

I get to create the conditions that born healers, guides, coaches need to claim their unique genius and their soul’s purpose!  OMG!

I get to use my intuition and my gift of holding space.

I get to be in beautiful natural surroundings with people who ache to be totally authentic!

This is not a job you can find.  It’s a job you create.

When you stop hiding, you can create the life your soul desires and give the world something it really needs......your love and joy.

Here are three quick steps to help you rewire your brain and stop hiding:

1.  Acknowledge that you hid for a reason.  Discover what that reason was.  Know that there is nothing wrong with you.

2.  Decide that the world needs your voice of goodness, NOW.

3.  Figure out what you stand for and start speaking up and showing up in small ways.  Eventually it’ll feel totally natural and you’ll stop hiding and start shining.


PPS: Here are some more pictures from my retreat:


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