Are You Tired of Being Invisible? (A personal story)

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Photo credit to Kristen Devoe-Talluto

I was 14.

Super shy. I had many, many girlfriends. I was afraid to speak to boys. The first boy/girl party that a boy was having was announced….Chuck* was having a party

All the girls were delirious with excitement. I wasn’t invited.

I was one of maybe 2 Black girls in my grade. The secret that we didn’t talk about in the 1970’s was that nobody dated outside of their race (which meant that my dating pool was virtually non-existent). But did that mean that I wasn’t going to be invited to the party?

I remember all my friends talking about the party, deciding what to wear. I remember their high-pitched voices.

None of my friends ever acknowledged that I wasn’t invited.

I felt invisible.

I didn’t so much care that I wasn’t invited to the party. I could understand that because I was so painfully shy with boys. But it was being ignored by my girlfriends that hurt the most. I just wanted my friends to acknowledge that it felt bad to be the only one of the gang that wasn’t invited – or to say it was an oversight – or to ask me to come with them anyway – or to acknowledge that I felt hurt.

But nobody did.

So, the night before the party, I remember going home and crying. I rarely cried about being left out or hurt. I’d always tried to hide my feelings. I’d never wanted anyone to feel my distress. But this time I did.

My mother tried to comfort me, but that didn’t really work.

While I was lying in bed that night, I heard a voice. It felt like the voice came from inside me. Here’s what the voice said.

“They are not your friends.”

And I believed the voice.

Immediately, I imagined my grade 8 classroom and decided to make new friends. In my mind’s eye I viewed each person sitting in their seat and asked myself, “Are you my new friend?”

And I got answers.

I decided to let go of the old “friends” and I consciously chose new ones.

I never looked back. My new heart friends lasted all the way through high school….and beyond.

And then we had a party.

We invited the popular boys, but none of the girls that had ignored me.

It went down in history as the party of the year - because we’d managed to get beer and there were streakers! For those of you who don’t understand this term – streakers were people who got naked and ran down streets or into sports stadiums. They were very popular in the 1970’s before social media or smart phone.

When I look back on this story now, I see how much that is related to why I do the work that I do.

My work is all about helping people who have always felt invisible to start discovering where they naturally stand out – where they truly fit.

Because you weren’t born to be invisible. You were truly born to be a lighthouse, to shine your light.

So often the women that I coach and teach have always felt that they weren’t seen, that they had to hide, that they were invisible, that they were different. And yet they know they have something sparkling inside them, that other people aren’t seeing or acknowledging. They know they have something that they were supposed to do in the world and they often have done so much training to get credentials and qualifications.

But what they really need is to be seen.

What they really need is to release trying to fit in.

What they really need is to re-discover what makes them stand out, to reveal what makes them different.

What they really need is to listen to their inner voice.

What they really need is to remember that they came here to be a lighthouse for the world.

That is what my Soul’s Calling® Facilitator/Coach training is all about.

Some of us really, really see people, and we know how much people ache to be seen. But we have trouble releasing our efforts to fit in, so we never really find our thing or our people.

That’s why I’m offering Soul’s Calling® Coach Training in 2020. It’s for you if you feel invisible in the coaching or training or entrepreneurial community that you’ve been trying to be a part of, and you ache to shine your light in the world.

It’s for you if helping others to see and claim the beauty of who they are – in your own unique way, is what makes your heart sing.

It’s for you if you want to master the Soul’s Calling® Roadmap tools and methods that I’ve created over the past 25 years, and make them your own.

It’s for you if you want to finally discover your own soul’s home, the niche that has been calling you!

Registration for Soul’s Calling® Facilitator/Coach is open now. This is a small boutique style training, so spots are limited and we’re about half full already!

I’ve seen such dramatic shifts in Coaches who have done this training.

  • Like Emma, starting her own flourishing community and claiming her writing niche.
  • Like Robin, being the hidden soul guide in the heart of the mid-west bringing soul and magic to rural farmers.
  • Like Nicole, who claimed her puzzle solving genius and is cracking purpose and business puzzles – and working alongside me, in the Soul’s Calling Academy.
  • Like Sue who has shifted from being just another lost, trained coach to being the Pied Piper of Purpose, passionately building her following one step at a time.
  • Like Betsy who claimed ALL her genius, her light as well as her academic background and created a practice that is just the right size, where she helps people of all ages unlock their unique genius.

These are just a few.

Are you one of us?

Find out more and fill out an application right now, HERE.


*Names have been changed because I’m Facebook friends with all my high school peeps!
















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