6 Things You Need To Know To Solve The Puzzle Of Your Purpose

find your purpose life coaching wisdom


1. Your Soul Calling You Feels Like Pain

Unfortunately, the most effective method that the soul uses to guide you to your right path in life is through pain. Existential pain. Yearning. Aching, because you can’t answer the question - Why am I here? Aching because your life feels wrong even though it looks right, and you don’t want to complain because you know you have so much.

The good thing is that when you’re in this pain, you are getting closer to your right life – because your wrong life feels so bad. When everything feels like it’s falling apart, the new life that fits better is trying to find you. You can’t get the new, if you are holding onto the old. Pain means your soul is trying to wake you up, nudge you into letting go what doesn’t fit, and guide you to your purpose.

2. Ask The Right Questions

Don’t ask - Why am I here?  Ask - what am I here to do? Ask- what lights me up? Ask - what are my special gifts to give? Why? Because you’re here to do what lights you up…and what lights you up is giving the gifts you have to give. That doesn’t mean that you always have to be helping someone. You could be creating, organizing, using your gifts, feeling lit up and indirectly giving to others by sharing your joyful energy, love and disposition.

Your purpose is to use your special gifts to add love to the world. Your purpose is to do what lights you up!

3. Your Purpose Isn’t A Job Title.

Too many people are looking for the “occupation” that they are “supposed” to be doing. Your calling isn’t to be a Claims Adjudicator, an Editor, a Physiotherapist or the VP of Human Resources. Your purpose is to do what lights you up. If you find a job where you can do that – fabulous (but hard to do because the job is someone else’s agenda, not yours). And people pick careers for what they get paid, or the job security, or the prestige, or because it’s what was expected of them, so many, many people aren’t doing work that lights them up.

Creating a business is one way to get your purpose and your work aligned.

You can create a business that lights you up – where you’ll have much more control over what you do! For me it’s a passion project where I am constantly asking how can I do more of what I love? How can I put my gifts on center stage and spend most of my time sharing my gifts? Who else needs what I have to offer and how will this work best for them and for me?

And some people have a hobby or a volunteer role that lights them up. That’s a purpose too.

4. The Most Important Step When you are Seeking your Purpose is to Dare to Decide to Find It.

It’s an active process discovering what you came here to do. You’ll stop ignoring your yearning, you’ll be answering questions, noticing what lights you up, dropping what doesn’t, excavating your outdated programming, trying things out, taking risks, creating experiences where you can get direct wisdom downloads from your soul, using your genius.  You’ve got to dare to decide to do this – and you need to keep going until you find it. It takes commitment. It will only happen if you dare to decide to do only what lights you up!

5. Notice When You’ve Found It, Stop Looking, Claim It, and DO It.

Too many people keep looking after they’ve found the gifts that they’re here to give. They keep searching when instead they need to be doing – creating the vehicle, the business, the work, the entity where they can express their gifts. When you continue to search and refine after you know what gifts you are here to give, you’ve fallen into resistance. Resistance shows up to protect you from failing and to protect you from making the major life changes required for you to do your soul’s calling.  Resistance makes you keep searching so you don’t have to risk doing and failing.

6. Your Calling Keeps Calling.

There is no statute of limitations on your soul’s calling. If you picked the wrong career at 17 (and most of us did – don’t get me started on how ridiculous it is to believe you can figure out your life’s work as a teenager) your calling is still aching to be found.

Many women start seeking their purpose when their kids are school aged or when they are empty nesters – when the time demands of raising children have diminished.

It’s never too late.

For some it’s a third act or at post retirement that they feel free to express their true soul’s purpose. If you’ve ignored the call, don’t worry, it’ll come back. You’ll once again feel that ache and pain and know you’re missing something that you can’t name. That’s what your soul calling you feels like.

That’s when you can dare to decide to discover and do your soul’s calling!


Big love,




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