What Do You Need to Let Go Of?

It’s been a long winter.

Do you wake up every day complaining about the weather?

I’ve been guilty of that.

But complaining about the weather clutters up my mind. It’s a distraction. Repetitive negative thinking - even about crappy weather - blocks me from feeling good, from getting new ideas and new energy about my deepest desires and what makes me come alive.

So, when I woke up today and there were 80 km/hour winds and blowing snow, that had covered over the pool of sheer ice that is our driveway, frozen over after the one-day thaw, I decided to do a gratitude meditation.

I needed to focus on what was working, and not keep repetitively complaining about the weather.

It helped.

My weather diatribe is mind clutter. Mind clutter is repetitively thinking painful thoughts that you are often unaware of, because these thoughts are on a loop in your mind.

But mind clutter blocks your soul’s calling.

If you want to discover your path and your direction in life – mind clutter is kryptonite. It stops you from hearing and feeling and seeing what is calling to you – what is trying to nudge you towards your right life.

And you’re being called – all your life – by your Soul. Your Soul is trying to guide you to the life you were supposed to live.

When you’re are stuck in a loop of painful, negative thinking, even when it’s about really truly crappy weather, you are using up the valuable space that you need to spark joy in your life.

If you were Marie Kondoing in January, you know what I’m talking about. Marie’s famous book – The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up and the Netflix series - has sparked a movement of people who are uncluttering their homes. They are getting rid of clutter that drains them and takes up space – and getting rid of stuff that has outgrown its usefulness and no longer sparks joy.

But you have more clutter than just your stuff. Repetitively thinking negative thoughts, maintaining a packed schedule, habitually engaging in self-distracting habits (like shopping and binge-watching Netflix series) all lead you in the opposite direction of your soul’s calling. They all take up space in your life so that you can’t see what sparks joy. You have to unclutter in all areas of your life, not just your living space, for joy to emerge.

….You need to clear the clutter in your mind – your thinking.

….You need to clear clutter in your schedule particularly if you fill up every waking moment with activity and appointments.

….You need to clear clutter from your habits – particularly those habits that you use for distraction – excess screen time, over-doing for other people, eating when you're not hungry, over-drinking, overshopping, binge watching Netflix, taking courses that you don’t need....I could go on.

You need to get over taking pride in being busy – and all the social rewards that come with that in our society.

Because if you have no unfilled space left in your life, then you won’t be able to discern what brings you joy. And you won’t discover the life you were meant to live, who you're supposed to be and what you came here to do.

But why do we distract ourselves so much?

I think part is habit – the way we are socialized in the western world, the speed of change, technology. Another part is that it’s fun to go shopping, to watch Netflix series, to play with your smartphone. But at a certain point it isn’t fun anymore. It starts to feel draining.

The distractions are designed to make sure you don’t feel any uncomfortable emotions like discontent, distress, fear, anxiety or confusion. And if you dump the distractions you might start to feel uncomfortable emotions. You might feel empty, unfulfilled. You might feel divine discontent. Your rational mind doesn’t want you to feel any of these feelings because that might mean that you’d change something…..risk doing something different.

And that’s where you need to dare to decide.

Is it worth it to you to stop distracting, to clear the clutter of stuff, of thoughts of the habit of being busy?

Do you want a new life that may fit you better badly enough? Are you willing to face the discomfort of being out side of your comfort zone?

And can you handle it, if painful emotions come up? Maybe you couldn’t when you were a child – but maybe you can now. Do you have support if painful and overwhelming emotions surface? A therapist? A talented Coach?

Is the risk of feeling pain worth it for you?

It’s your decision to make. You have a choice.

Making space in your life, signifies that you’ve dared to decide to face what isn’t working in your life and that you're committing to the process of re-inventing your life from the inside out.

I want you to know that discontent and distress are useful emotions. They don’t need to be banned. No emotions are negative, they’re neutral. They are designed to give you information – part of your guidance system that tells you which direction to go in.

But you can’t access your guidance system when there's no space in your life.

If you shut down the lows like feeling discontent, you also shut down the highs like feeling incredibly joyful. Full-blown discontent usually starts with a niggle. Suppose you listened to that niggle? Imagine how skilled you’d be at navigating towards your right life?  

All the distractions, the speed of busyness, the mind chatter, the outdated stories you tell yourself, the focus on what’s wrong – they all take up space that you need to feel joy

What must you let go of to make space for something new?

And do you dare to decide to do it?

Big love,

Bev