Quietly Quitting To Outwit the Fear of Change

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Quietly Quitting To Outwit the Fear of Change


I’ve quietly quit several things in my life. For me it’s the first stage of becoming purpose aligned.

It is daring to decide to release something that no longer serves you, in a way that does not make you freak out or change your mind.

Because any big life transition begins with and ending – and ending means loss. And we are wired to hold on to what we have – to enhance our chances for survival. When you decide to end something, your brain will argue with you. Even if you are ending something that is bad for you.

My solution is quietly quitting.

Made popular during the pandemic, to refer to being present physically at work, but not really being present mentally, I think of quietly quitting as making the inner decision to leave without making a big production of the ending. And, in fact, behaving on the outside, like nothing has changed on the inside, for just long enough to take the tiny, tiny steps to shift from being purpose adjacent to finding your freedom.

You pretend to yourself that you aren’t leaving, quitting, ending, or releasing something and this gives you the opportunity to try out ending something, without pressure.

It’s like kinda letting go, and telling yourself that you can change your mind, if you choose to.

Quiet quitting is my way of outwitting the fear and resistance of making big life changes.

And it’s my favourite way of ending – because I don’t like endings.

I don’t tell anyone. I don’t make an announcement. I make an inner decision and I quietly quit.

And usually – quietly quitting opens the door to what’s next – that was waiting there all along, but I couldn’t see it.

Because I’m so good at fitting in – at chameleoning (part of my immigrant programming), quietly quitting helps me to side-step my deeply, embedded, generational fear of standing out – which is really a fear of being attacked or rejected.

If you too, are used to fitting in and hiding your needs, quietly quitting might work for you too.

In the Paul Simon song, “There Must Be 50 Ways To Leave Your Lover”, I imagine that he was talking about quiet quitting.

“….You just slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don't need to be coy, Roy
Just get yourself free
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don't need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free…..”

No major announcement. No Instagram posts. No new website. You don’t have to get a binder and coloured markers and make a chart and a plan. It’s not new diet Monday. I’d highly recommend quiet quitting. Just decide, and quietly stop doing the thing that drains you and makes you purpose adjacent.

What is out of alignment for you in your life or your business right now?

What do you need to quietly quit?


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