Maybe You Aren't Lazy
When my son was young, I poured through books trying to get to the root of why school was so difficult for him. When I discovered “The Myth of Laziness” by Mel Levine, I breathed a sigh of relief.
Often children that are unproductive or “lazy” suffer from what he calls “output failure” – a neurodevelopmental dysfunction that is invisible but is a real blockage to academic success.
I think the same thing happens for many soul-inspired guides, healers, coaches who are creating their own work. They have an invisible blockage that stops them from putting what they have inside on the outside.
I’ve worked with many people who want to make a difference in the world – often they’ve trained as coaches. They are super smart, highly empathic and talented healers and soul guides – who have output failure. They end up being my absolute favourite people to work with because they can figure out the business part, but they can’t figure out what they need to do to get their inside out. I love, love, love when it all clicks together.....and it does.
Here are some of the reasons for output failure that I’ve noticed.
1. You are good at everything, and you’re also multi-passionate. You can’t pick one thing to focus on (and think you have to) so you stop, start, keep changing directions and never really gain any traction or get known for doing something specific.
2. You have an on-going difficult relationship, health or family issue that you are dealing with: aging parents; children with behavioural or health issues; problems with a spouse; a chronic illness. You’ve been trying to create your soul-based service business while trying to ignore how completely depleted you are.
3. You have an old pattern of behaviour that no longer serves you – HIDING. You were taught not to take up space, not to call attention to yourself, to fit in and to definitely not stand out. You are extremely skilled at knowing what others want from you and this kept you safe for most of your life. Now however, you have no idea what makes you different or unique because that’s never been your focus. You lack confidence in your ability to make a living by just being you.
4. You think that creating work that makes a difference, that you love, is a simple process of learning the steps and following them. You don’t realize that this is a major shift in how you live. It involves dropping society’s purpose for you and following your soul’s purpose instead. That means that you will have an adjustment period where you’ll feel uncomfortable and confused. You’ll wonder whether you're good enough, where you fit in, who you are and what to do next – continuously. Resistance to making this change will likely kick in – big time.
5. You’re doing this alone. Most fledging soul-entrepreneurs used to work in a workplace with other people. When you start a small, soul-service venture, there is no one to talk to, no one to share with, no one to connect with. It can get really lonely and hard to keep going – especially when you have no one to share how you’re feeling or what you’re doing.
Finding, claiming and doing your soul’s work takes far more than learning about business.
That’s why all of the programs I create have community & connection. I knew there was a deep soulful connection that so many women were craving. I knew that we have been so socialized to focus on others and not on ourselves. I knew that we’ve been told to put our feelings in a closet and work on business with our minds.
I don’t agree.
I think there’s a new way to do this – in community, by connecting with your soul, by giving support and being supported, by allowing yourself to be seen, by getting nudged and challenged with love and compassion and with deep, deep honesty.
That’s what a sisterhood is.
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