The Rupture

I've been having a hard time writing this Soul Nudge.

In fact, it almost didn't get written.

I've been changing my mind a lot.

Trying to figure out what to create next, what my business should look like, what I should offer—and whether I even want a business anymore.

And then I realized something.

Maybe this isn't a problem to solve or something to fix.

Maybe something has ended.

Maybe I'm back at the pre-volcano stage in my Soul's Calling® Method.

That's the stage when divine discontent is bubbling. Something is wrong, but you don't quite know what it is. So you keep trying to fix it.

And no matter what you do, the discomfort doesn't go away.

At the pre-volcano stage on my roadmap, your job isn't necessarily to find a solution.

It's to tell the truth about what is actually happening.

Not what you think will make you feel better.

Not the solution you've come up with.

Not, in my case, creating another new program.

Telling the truth.

Something has ended.

And when we don't acknowledge an ending, it has a way of getting louder.

Circumstances change. Something happens that we can't ignore. What we've been trying to hold together becomes impossible to keep pretending is still working.

A life volcano erupts.

And suddenly the ending we've been trying to fix, avoid or deny is right in front of us.

I think I've been unable to decide what's next because I haven't fully told the truth about what's over.

And we need to do this over and over again in our lives.

Because you can't create a new chapter while you're still trying to preserve an identity, and a life, that belongs to the old one.

So that's what I'm doing right now.

Acknowledging what has ended.

Stopping the denial.

Allowing myself to feel what comes with it.

Grief. Sadness. Confusion. Anger. Relief.

Maybe even a glimpse of hope.

And then looking, clear-eyed, at what has actually ended.

I've been thinking about something my Prime Minister, Mark Carney, said at Davos earlier this year.

Speaking about the changing world order, he said:

"Let me be direct. We are in the midst of a rupture, not a transition."

Later, he talked about the need in Canada to "stop pretending, to name reality, to build our strength at home and to act together."

Different circumstances entirely.

But that process—stop pretending, name reality, build your strength at home, act together—is exactly what the Soul's Calling® Method asks us to do.

And I realized I need to do it too.

I know what's ended.

An identity I've carried for a very long time no longer fits.

For years, I've thought of myself first as a coach. I've built a business around coaching, taught and mentored other coaches, and continued to think about my work through the lens of the coaching profession.

But somewhere along the way, that stopped being how I understood myself and my work.

I just didn't acknowledge it.

So I kept trying to figure out what kind of coaching business I wanted now.

What should I offer?

What should I create?

How should I market it?

How could I make myself excited about doing it again?

No wonder I couldn't find an answer.

I was trying to create my next chapter from an identity that had already ended.

What hasn't ended is the work itself.

If anything, that has become clearer.

I've spent years developing a body of work about what happens when life as we know it ends—how we acknowledge what is over, discover who we are now, reconnect with what is true for us, discover new meaning, and find our way toward what comes next.

I want to write about it.

I want to teach it.

And I want to teach experienced practitioners how to use it with the people they serve.

I have an inkling that this is the chapter I'm moving toward.

But I don't need to rush there yet.

Because before we can step into a new identity, we have to be willing to acknowledge the one that has ended.

And I think that's the part I've been resisting.

I've been trying to figure out the new chapter before fully acknowledging the ending of the old one.

No wonder I couldn't figure out what came next.

And perhaps that's the point.

My work right now isn't to know.

It's to stop trying to solve the future long enough to acknowledge the ending.

Your Soul Nudge

What are you trying to fix that might actually have ended?

A role?

A relationship?

A career?

A way of seeing yourself?

An identity that once fit you perfectly but doesn't anymore?

You don't have to know what comes next.

Maybe, for today, it's enough to stop pretending and tell the truth about what is.