When you feel lost, how do you find your way?

Traditional wisdom tells us that you figure out what you want.

You visualize it.

Make it real.

Sense how it feels.

Then you identify what obstacles are in your way.

And next, you find a strategy to overcome them.

That’s what many coaches do with their clients.

And it can be helpful.

But what about when you don’t know what you want?

I remember reading The Passion Test years ago, along with so many other books that promised to help me discover my passion.

But what they really taught me was how to make my passions real and manifest my destiny.

The problem was...

What destiny do you manifest when you don’t know your passions (or don’t seem to have any) and you don’t know what you want?

Some people seem to know from a young age.

Elizabeth Gilbert knew she was a writer.

Martha Beck knew she wanted to write self-help books.

Oprah Winfrey wanted to be a star.

I admired people like that.

But I wasn't one of them.

I didn’t know what I wanted.

And I wasn’t alone.

Eventually, I discovered what I wanted by discovering who I was.

Someone who sees who people truly are and holds that vision until they can see it too.

And that’s what I’ve been doing for almost thirty years.

Over the years, I realized that asking,

"What do you want?"

wasn't the right place to begin.

Especially for people who feel lost.

Whose life or work as they know it has shifted.

Who are standing at a threshold where an old identity no longer fits and they have no idea what comes next.

Because when you're lost, you can't always answer that question.

I couldn't.

What I know now is that when you're feeling lost, the answer isn't to keep searching for what you want.

It's to find yourself first.

To stop looking for the way out.

And start looking for the way in.

I believe people don't feel lost because they don't know what to do.

They feel lost because they no longer know who they are.

So now, when someone tells me they feel lost, I don't begin by asking,

"What do you want?"

I begin with a different question.

Who are you now?

Not who you were twenty years ago.

Not who your family expected you to be.

Not who your career required you to become.

Not who you've adapted yourself to be.

Who are you now?

Because once you begin to see yourself again, your direction becomes much clearer.

That simple shift has become the foundation of my Soul's Calling® Method.

So perhaps this Sunday, instead of asking yourself,

"What do I want?"

pause for a moment and ask yourself something different.

Who am I now?