For Desiree and All the Aunties
Desiree* is the woman who does my hair twists and braids.
I go to her house. We usually sit beside the kitchen - in the heart of her house.
She’s from Cameroon, in central Africa.
She's lived in Canada for more than 15 years. Her husband works in the far north, so he’s only home occasionally - and not all in the winter.
Which means Desiree carries the lion’s share.
She works full time. She’s raising three children—a 13-year-old son and young twins. She sends money to family back home. She also does hair— braids and twists — mine and others.
And this week she told me she has started a Bachelor of Science degree in Nursing.
Full time.
She has a long commute to campus for her classes.
I was gobsmacked and asked her how she does it all. She admitted that it’s really, really hard.
But she has the aunties.
And as I sat in her kitchen, with her mother-in-law visiting from home and an auntie nearby, I felt so much admiration for her—and a kind of reverence for all the women who have gone before her.
All the people who've immigrated to Canada to build a new life (like my parents did so many, many years ago.)
While Desiree did my hair, she told her 13-year-old he had to be back from the park before dark at 7:30…or else.
She negotiated with one of the twins about finding her brother—but also giving him some peace.
And somehow, in the middle of all of it, she was teaching. Politeness. Respect. Vocabulary. How to be with other people.
And then there are the aunties.
Every time I go there, there’s an auntie.
I’m one too, and we aren’t related.
These are the women who are woven into the fabric of her life. Women who help create the village. Who support and guide and live and share belly laughs.
And I found myself thinking about Desiree—and about all the women like her who are doing so much to create and build lives that work, despite the trials and tribulations.
I see you.
I honour you.
You are incredible.
And yes, I told Desiree that too.
So this Soul Nudge is for every woman who is carrying more than she sometimes acknowledges.
And for the aunties that are there for them.
For every woman who keeps showing up, caring, working, learning, supporting, figuring things out, holding people together—and then gets up the next morning and does it again.
Maybe today, instead of immediately moving on to the next thing, stop for a moment.
See yourself.
Take in what you are carrying.
Take in what you have created.
Take in who you have become in the process.
Breathe it in. Receive it.
You really are quite something.
This is your Soul Nudge.
Big love,
Bev
❤️
* Names and minor details have been changed.
